


It just feels like I'm nobody at all.

by orphan_account



Series: FWB boyf riends edition [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Brooke being a good sister, Couch Cuddles, Drugged Sex, M/M, Tea, This is an a emotional rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-08 01:42:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14094267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ALSOJEREMY AND BROOKE ARE SIBILINGS IN THIS SERIES.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Literally, the drug i made up is fake. The closest thing i could find was k*tamine, and it still didn't match what i wanted exactly for Jeremy to suffer. 
> 
> ALSO, IF YOUR SENSITIVE TO MENTIONS OF R*PE, SEXUAL ASSUALT, AND INAPPROPRIATE DRUG USE. I WON'T BE GOING INTO HEAVY DETAIL, BUT IT'S STILL BETTER TO STAY SAFE.  
> This installment will also be the exception from the rest, having two chapters to it.

At this point in Jeremy's life, he'd gotten used to bringing Lea home with him during the weekends, or whenever her parents couldn't watch her. And he was fairly used to having her stay the night. But not often enough to buy a personal bed for her. So, every night she stayed with Jeremy, they'd make a fort from his couch cushions for lea, pumping a twin sized mattress, barely big enough to fit in his living room, littering the mattress with stuffed animals, blankets and pillows Michael and Carol had brought over to leave with the brown haired boy, just in case they had to drop Lea off, by some off chance. And to be fair, it happened more than Jeremy would've liked it to be. He made sure the little brown haired girl, with the red highlight's was snuggled into her fort and bed, before kissing her head, bidding the small girl goodnight. And with that, Jeremy let his night begin.  
Usually, he wasn't irresponsible when it came to baby sitting Lea, but just once, he wanted to get out. Softly, he made his way into his room, pulling his beaten up laptop from the side of his bed, scrolling through a few different sketchy websites, trying to find a hook up. Something to get his mind off of Michael and Rich and Carol. Anything. 

A shaky breath escaped through Jeremy's trembling lips, beginning to let his fingers dance gracefully across his keyboard.  
He'd found someone. 

 

\----

"Martin?" Jeremy yelled, waving his hands over his head, letting attention from the others passing through the bad side of town pass glances to each other, before dismissing how crazy Jeremy looked. The boy's mouth curved upwards, watching as the man he'd only found minutes ago on a sketchy hook up sight drew near him. He watched as the man named "Martin" made his way over to Jeremy, greeting the pale man with a low, enticing voice surround the other, reaching his hand around Jeremy's shoulders, laying his arm on the boy leading the paler boy to his vehicle. This wasn't the first time Jeremy had done something so absolutely risky in his life. And honestly, for whatever reason, it wasn't beginning to feel tight anymore. His anxiety began to rise, stepping into the man's pick up truck. He took note of how clean it was, and how there was a few bottles of wine, mostly white with the exception of one red, with a lable written completely in Japanese, aside for one word written in red cursive "lust".  
The brunette's nose scruched, hearing the other man's laugh, as he pulled himself into the drivers seat, shutting the door behind him. He didn't lock the doors. Jeremy noted that fact, tuning the mans rambling out, his anxeity serious starting to pulse through him. He could get out right now, but he. Jeremy chose to do this. He chose to plan the date with this guy named martin that he'd found from searching through a craglist type forum. So why was anxeity scratching at him.  
Jeremy was pulled from his thoughts, jumping a bit from the older man laying a hand on his shoulder, offering Jeremy a drink in his other hand. The lust drink. Stupidly, he took it, watching as the other male took a glass of his own, drinking his as well. 

While "Martin" struck up conversation with Jeremy, the boy's glance fell all over the truck. From his wine glass, to the clock (9:38 pm), to the outside, seeing blurs of cars pass by them, people on the opposite side of the street, lights from bars and strip clubs lighting the street.  
Jeremy bit his lip, glancing over at Martin. He took in the details of the elder man's details. He had dark black hair, wrinkles under his eyes along with heavy dark circles tracing the said wrinkles.  
"Look, i uh" Jeremy didn't notice his mouth begin to move, but he felt. He felt like he had to leave. He had to stop this.  
"I uh, i should probably go, uh" his stammer was appreant, and he exhaled hard on his 'uh', not focusing on the other mans reactions. Setting his glass down, he turned his body towards the door, letting his hand fall against the handle.  
"Well, maybe you could entertain me in one glass of wine before you leave, huh?" The man's voice came back in a soothed tone, causing the boy to shiver, despite wearing two jackets layered ontop of each other, with a plain blue shirt underneath.  
He gulped, turning his posture back to facing the man, wine poured, and the man, once again offering it to Jeremy as he once had.  
"One more glass" Jeremy nodded, taking the glass from him, watching as the other man eyed Jeremy, only to turn when the boy began drinking.  
After a few more sips, he found his head aching, and his body devoid of movement, a semi worried expression taking the boy over.  
Had he been drugged?  
Panic spread throughout his lifeless body, causing hin to barely open his mouth to say anything.  
His eyes darted lazily over to the grown man, who had his phone pulled out. Jeremy mentally questioned why, out of everything, he had the boys page pulled up. Martin didn't have much access about Jeremy from what the boy had put on his profile, but he did have his apartment complex set, so people, if he was hooking up with them, could find at least the place he lived. He listened, limp against the mans seat, as he talked about something, starting his truck.  
He hadn't expected the man to drive him to his complex. The brunette, still limp, watched as the man parked his truck in one of the guest spaces, in front of the information office/lanlords apartment. Jeremy watched as the man turned his truck up, making no time to crawl into the back, previously holding the assortment of wines, now resting In the mans seat. 

Jeremy couldn't honestly remember much after that, other than being drug into the back seat with the man, before he was kicked out of the truck, sore, legs wobbling, his throat aching like no tomorrow, as he laid against the concrete below him, tears dripping from his eyes. he was so stupid. so very fucking stupid. ragged breaths came in through Jeremy's mouth, returning them as broken sobs, to exhausted to even curl in on himself. with what little strength he had, he rubbed at his face, trying to make himself stop. he shouldn't feel this way. he took the drink. he mindlessly took a drink that had been spiked by a stranger that wouldn't let him leave. another sob left, his body shaking. He was so into his own pity party, he wasn't even aware that his landlord had run out of her apartment, dressed in nothing but a floor length robe, and her hair tied back in a sloppy bun. he only noticed when she had picked his torso up, laying it on her lap. when had she sat down? regardless, Jeremy gripped her robe, apologizing to her for having to see this. for having to deal with him, but she only hummed, tracing her fingers through his hair, trying her best to calm him down. it took a few moments between the two, before his landlord offered to walk him back to his apartment. She helped him in, setting his limp body on one of the chairs in his living room, Lea now awake, and by his side. His landlord just gave Jeremy and Lea a small nod, before leaving the two alone. It took an hour for Jeremy to finally calm himself Down, along with his body finding it's strength to move around again. To completely help calm his nerves, he and lea made cookies from premade cookie dough, along with hot chocolate, remade the couch, and sat together, sifting through the vast collection of disney movies he owned via Amazon Video. After the two settled on the Aristocrats, the two had barely made it through the first thirty minutes, before they had passed out, lea curled close to Jeremy, and a large plush blanket between the two. Even after everything that happened, leaving an emotional scare on Jeremy, he at least wanted to make what little of his night better, before he had to face his harsh reality of what happened between him and Martin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is super super short? like, i didn't mean for this chapter to be short, but as of right now, i have super mixed feelings on the previous two installments of this series.   
> like, part of me really, really hates the part with Michael and Jeremy at the café, discussing stuff. like, i really wanted more a set up/better back story between Michael, Jeremy, Rich and Carol. like, really go into immense depth about they're own stories, and not just wrapping everything up in a shitty bow. i mean, the back story i gave to Jeremy us pretty complete, but like, for the other characters in this story, it just feels all to rushed.   
>  so i might actually delete that story and try to rewrite it, instead of hating it, and it being the whole reason i abandon this series, because i really do enjoy this series, it just can be super hard for someone like to me have motivation to keep up with long running stories, (mostly due to my ADHD, and actually having the stereotype of getting bored of something super easily. like, i've started things, and just have abruptly stopped them, because my brains like 'this sucks' and never touch it again. at least some fanfics writers actually try to bullshit an ending, even if they no longer like they're work.) so, ooofoof  
> hopefully i'll finish this series strong.

it took every ounce of Jeremy's aching being to pull himself off the couch. he and lea had slept in later than they normally would. 11:45 am shone bright over Jeremy's phone, groaning softly. he wasn't sure when during the night he had changed into his pajama's, but he mentally thanked himself for being sober enough to change into comfy clothing. he wandered over to his windows, drawing the curtains, letting the gloomy day ahead of them set in. it was raining pretty hard.  
he shrugged his cream colored cardigan on, along with his matching slippers, stumbling into the kitchen. he hummed, hearing the little patter of feet trailing behind him, watching as lea puller herself up onto one of the bar stools, seating her self patiently.  
"is daddy gonna pick me up today?" lea's voice was quiet, the palms of her hand laying on the cool granite that was Jeremy's bar counter.

he gave a small nod to the side, shuffling bowls and utensils around the kitchen counter, before answering.  
"Michael won't be able to take you back until next weekend, but after i drop you off at school on Monday, your mom will be there to pick you up. I'll have you again for the normal time this week as well" more shuffling went between the two, before lea gave him a small "oh".  
"Wednesday and Thursday right?" lea let the palms of her hand drum against the counter, Jeremy resurfacing from the pantry, pancake batter in his arms.  
I will have you Wednesday and Thursday. I'll try to talk to Dad and see if he can take you on Friday night" he dove under again to pull out a waffle maker, silence settling between the two once more.

it wasn't long before lea had found her way back down, scampering over to the brunette haired boy, latching around his leg, bothering him with the normal questions while he made breakfast for the two of them. he answered in a soft voice, before picking her up, and brushing the hair that had fallen in front of her face to the side, a tinge of a sad smile tracing his lips. "Lea, after we eat, you and i are gonna go see auntie Brooke" he hummed, setting Lea on the counter, letting her little legs dangle off the counter. she gave a nod, watching as the boy dumped the pancake mix into the bowl, following with water, and stirring. \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Jeremy made a face that made his sister laugh, seating herself next to him on the beaten up love seat she had inherited from her nana, handing the brunette boy a steaming cup of hot tea, pulling her legs on to the couch with her, tucking her feet under her bottom. she glanced at him, holding her own tea mug. she watched his features. soft, like normal, except some how she sensed the over hung amount of dread and tiredness trailing him. "so, you wanted to talk about something?" she hummed, scooching her body closer, laying a hand on his thigh, taking a small sip from her cup. she watched as his face scrunched with discomfort for a moment, before he opened his mouth. "I, uh" he cleared his throat, staring into his cup, before turning to Brooke, exhaling softly. "I was.. drugged and forced into having sex with this guy i didn't know," Jeremy blinked, setting his cup on his lap, hands wrapped around the cup ensuring that he wouldn't spill the hot liquid on himself. biting his lip, he continued, explaining the best he could to Brooke without completely breaking down, which absolutely failed. he hadn't even made it half way through, and his cup was set on the coffee table, his hands shaking tremendously, body wracked with broken emotions. he didn't even notice the fact Brooke had wrapped her arms around him, trying her hardest to soothe him. after he calmed down, the two sat in silence, Jeremy taking that time between them to blow his nose and clean up the tears that fell down his face. he watched as Brooke laced her hand with his, rubbing her thumb over the bone structure in his hands. she looked up at him, warily. "your incredibly strong for being able to share what happened, especially right after it basically happened. that can,, that can be incredibly hard for people to do. it can take up to years for people to open up about that sort of thing" she hummed, wrapping her hand around his, squeezing it softly. "you are so brave, and what happened to you last night wasn't your fault. you just wanted to be nice. the scum bag who hurt you deserves nothing but hell. it's going to be hard to move on, but i believe in you" she continued, moving up to kiss his cheek, before laying her head on his shoulder, continuing her comfort to the best of her abilities.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have no clue why i wrote this chapter, but it exists now.

The thing is, Jeremy wasn't exactly prepared for what Brooke was even gonna mention next. He made a noise when she lifted her head up from his shoulder, caressing the side of her mug, moving to look at the brunette boy, a sad smile stretching over her face.   
"You remember senior prom? When you and i had left a absolute mess" she hummed, running her pointer finger over the rim of the cup.   
"I know that night Michael had broken up with you after you two had been crowned king and queen of the prom. On stage to" a blush burned into Jeremy's face, embarrassment and betrayal blending together.   
"Well, that night Chloe had cornered me in the girls bathroom, forcing me into,,, acts i wasn't comfortable with. But i didn't want to upset her, so i went a long with it. I didn't enjoy it at all, and to be completely honest, i wanted to yell at her and tell her no. But i was scared. I was scared to say anything because she had done so much to the both of us." Her voice began to lower with each sentence, showing little emotion. Her voice wavered, but tears didn't follow.   
"It was really hard to move on. And for a while i was scared to tell anyone. It took me a year to finally find the courage to tell my counselor about what happened. And another year before i began healing" she pursed her lips, bringing the white cup up to her lips, sipping some of her tea, before turning back to face her brother.   
"I believe that you can overcom what happened last night with that trashy Person. And I'll be here to support you like i always have" she smiled softly, nudging Jeremy, who I response playfully punched her arm, letting a bit of a side smile show.   
He knew that regardless Brooke was gonna be there for him.   
He exhaled, his body still shaking a bit, reaching out to grab his mug and drink from it.   
Silence fell between the two for a few moments, before the tranquility between them broke, due to Lea running into brookes living room, squeezing between the two.   
A gasp came from Brooke, glancing down at the child, who had ajusted herself tightly between the two adults, tugging loosely on both Jeremy and Brookes cardigans, begging to watch a movie with them.


End file.
